Things Every Kitchen SHould Have:

1. flour
2. sugar
3. confectioner's sugar
4. brown sugar
5. baking powder
6. baking soda
7. corn bread mix
8. cake mix
9. onions
10. garlic
11. bread
12. olive oil
13. canola oil
14. vegetable oil

herbs, spices and seasonings:

1. salt
2. pepper
3. cinnamon
4. basil
5. thyme
6. italian seasoning
7. garlic pepper
8. chili spice
9. cayenne pepper
10. vanilla flavoring

dry goods:

1. pasta
2. rice
3. grits
4. oatmeal

canned food:

1. corn
2. green beans
3. chili
4. fruit
5. olives
6. pimientos

this is just from my experience. :)

Beware, the green- eyed monster!

I have never been much of a jealous- type. I usually took that desire and turned it into inspiration. In High School, if I liked a girl's clothes, I'd design that same outfit for myself.

It gets harder- so it seems. Seeing my friends and acquaintances take trips across Europe, Africa and Asia (I've already been around North America!), I wonder- "why not me?" I'm studying South African history- why didn't I get that trip? I want to visit Cambridge!

Why not me?

Here I am, making ends meet, working 40+ hrs a week, trying to replace a busted computer... =/

I like to be content, thank you very much. If only I couldn't see...


*sigh*

Traveling is one of the joys I want to experience... =/

Hello all:

I have decided to disclose a little more than usual- some thoughts ranging over 8 years.

When I was 12, a guy tried to rape me. Without going into detail- (when, where, why, what, how) I concede to the difference between "tried" and "did." Believe me, over a period of 8 years I have had my share of doubts- 'maybe that was a figment of my imagination' 'maybe it didn't happen,' but I never could escape the effects of the event itself.

After that, I was fearful that my manner of dress had provoked the act- that somehow it was my fault. It took me about 5 years to get past that line of thought and realize that it was a complete lie.

Even after that realization, I had the constant feeling of being "dirty." I wrote many poems longing to be "unsullied" and "untouched." I still have that feeling when I am alone with nothing to do- and I try to remedy both by cleaning every inch of the space I occupy. (Yes, I am a clean freak.)

It was not until I finally confessed to my mom (after an apparent suicide attempt at 16) and began to talk to the wiser elder women of my church that I began to heal. I saw my suppressed anger for what it was: anger that he had taken something from me. I saw my lack of attraction toward men, the dysfunctional mutual dependencies and dissatisfaction.

Yet no one really thought I was too warped- I hadn't gone out and had sex or anything like it. My life outwardly was moral and acceptable.

I could feel nothing beyond an ambivalent pity for men, and my friendships with them never exceeded a year. The friendship with longevity (17 yrs) only lasts because it's long distance and we communicate via email, IM and Facebook.

Other than that...

hmmm... I think I'm pretty warped. My desire to marry wasn't based on the fact that I'd be married to a man I loved- rather, it was based in the idea that I'd find some security and protection. I never even thought of love.

etc.

that's all for now.

I was gonna analyze this, but I got distracted,

-arri

Hello:

Just a teensy bit listless. At work again...

Some thoughts:

1. Chrisette Michele is a talented artist. :)
2. I like fashion blogs- The Sartorialist is more my taste
3. Project Runway is addictive :D
4. the library is pretty cool... the computer lab esp.

that's all for now. Have momentary writer's block regarding my thesis. There are 3 options, and I need to narrow it down to one. =/

choices.

-arri

wilkommen!

hello all,

I apologize for my woefully un- updated blog. No, I have not abandoned this site. :)

I am well (thank you for asking.) I have moved into the ADX house, and things are going swimmingly. Currently, I am just working and saving for a laptop to replace the one I broke when I fell and sprained both my ankles (long story...). I am also working on my Thesis.

Thesis- ing is a slow process, really. I've been doing research for months (my late library books attest to that!). Despite this, my research hasn't yet reached the stage where everything is cohesive. Thus far, I have a series of thought strands involving political science analysis's of the political system, historical looks at political- social upheavals, Black Consciousness, South African jazz and blues, and even South African literature. All in the context of the Cold War... So... basically, my thesis needs a thesis.

sad. but true.

I have maybe... 15 pages of thesis written, but no central theme. One running theme is that in the Cold War, ideology trumped progress toward a fair and equal racial policy in American domestic and foreign dealings- esp. in relation to South Africa. Some government documents I have found are blatantly racist, etc. etc. etc.

So... I think I am doing pretty well. Honestly, I have not touched my research in a couple of weeks. I took a break and read 19th century literature for fun. Now, I'm back to typing my thesis, and organizing my notes, taking detailed notes, and more.

Other than that, I'm pretty much enjoying my summer. Jasmine green tea boba is yummy... cupcakes too.

Yeah, I forgot to mention that, I made some cupcakes- yellowcake topped with butter cream icing. I wanted the icing to be blue, but it turned a sickly green, and after 4 more drops of food coloring, it turned to a sea- foam green. :) Eh. But it was yummy. :)

That's all for now. Gotta get back to work.

bye