Monday Madness

I am a rather fortunate girl- and at the same time, I am utterly trapped.

My biggest question for God is WHY? WHY now of all moments?

I generally have a policy of not writing if I don't have anything positive to say. For the past five days, I haven't had much to say. If I were to say everything on my mind, it would not be pleasant.

Let me go through what's happened since I got back to Berkeley:

Wednesday:

1. slept
2. cooked chicken and rice dish
3. went to Main Stacks to get primary sources for my paper
4. came back, watched TV on the internet :)
5. slept

Thursday:

1. woke up
2. read background research, reviewed
3. put Federal Taxes in envelop
4. put computer, notes in backpack
5. dressed
6. went downstairs, got bread from cabinet
7. dropped off taxes at post office
8. went to Moffitt Library to check out book and work on research paper
9. ate dinner with L'aurelei
10. realized that my keys were missing,
    
11. frantically searched for 2 hours
12. went to ADX house, slept on couch
13. wrote first 7 pages of research paper
    

Friday:

1. woke up
2. searched for keys at post office, library, House of Curries, retraced steps
3. came back exhausted
4. showered
5. ate
6. wrote one more page in the essay
   
7. slept

Saturday:

1. woke up
2. headed to library to look for keys... no luck
   
3. spent time with Karen, Jane and, L'aurelei and then Jess
4. watched "Ever After" "Girl, Interrupted" and "Monster- in- Law" consecutively
5. slept

Sunday:

1. woke up
2. parents came and picked me up
3. SF!
4. came back
5. did Physics HW, studied
6. hung out with L'aurelei, Carla, Virginia, Havah and Stephanie until the wee hour of the morning
7. slept

Monday:

1. garbage truck woke me up
2. look at phone: 07:41
3. sleep until 7:57
4. eat breakfast... TV dinner...
5. go to library to look for keys... no luck
6. go to class

and... that's where we are... :(

still no keys. I haven't been able to do the tasks I'd hoped to do... =/

Of course, this can explain any crabbiness you get from me.

-arri

WHO THE HELL ATE MY EGGS?

This is the final straw...

I made a Safeway run, carrying 30 pounds of groceries only to come home to find that one- THIRD of my eggs are gone the next day after class??!!!

I can't take this anymore...



The title may be hilarious, but this is the culmination of my frustrations and pent up emotions. I am so tired of all this [insert proper word here]

Who ever ate my eggs owes me 5 eggs.



The End. If I go on any longer, I'm going to cuss like a sailor.

-Arri

Alive, A Life, I Live

Right now, the best feeling is being barefoot in the library.

The mere sensation of being alive- feeling the vigor of my youth and the heartbeat... yes.

In spite of the things I ought to do... readings for History 123 and 124B, that essay for 146... that project for Physics c21... that research paper for History 124B. Yes... in spite of these things.

The sun beating down on my skin- through layers of modesty.

The rustle of paper that reminds me I am not alone.

The hunger in my stomach, the pain that comes and goes.

the sight of symmetricity and order, chaos and entropy

...

indeed, I am alive.

Sunday Sundries: Rancid Chicken

This post was originally intended to enumerate the desires of my heart. The last hour have spoiled any appetite for list- making and dreaming.

I'm more inclined to cry... as a matter of fact, I am. Everything's going to be alright... this is not going to be an "emo" post. :)

I have had a very productive day. I ran errands (meaning: I bought a much needed pair of dark wash denim jeans... my other jeans are all fraying!) I visited Brad and Carla and assisted with gardening and other tasks with Jess and Patty.

Since I got home, the feeling of failure hit me with the smell of rancid chicken. How did I leave the chicken out for 8 hours? How?

Well.. at least I had a back up plan. I made yummy chicken- carrot- onion soup with rice. :) I feel better about my day. And my life.

I need to pray now. :) Talk to y'all later.

for now, chew on this:

"The law was added so that the trespass might increase. But where sin increased, grace increased all the more: -Romans 5:20

It is well...

It would have been enough...? Can I say that?

Can I look back at my perceived loss and ask nothing more? Am I content to be here- now- and look ahead with hope?

I dunno. I can't say with any honesty that this is how I feel. I am numb with academia, recalling historically significant facts for very large essays meant to be written on blue books. I ought to cry- but I have no compelling desire to do so.

My hope is in You.

Even when 4 midterms, 2 research papers and a project call my name, it is well.

It is well.

Sunday Sundries 03-09-08

Hello,

I have been very busy lately. 12 hour days and the general madness of an over- scheduled student have not yet taken their toll.

Day- light Savings Times feels like an hour was stolen from me. I woke up at... horror of horrors... 9:01 am. I never sleep in that late... but then again, I did lose an hour.

As for the important things, I am doing alright. The past couple days have been difficult, because I can now see that little separates me from the people I looked down upon. It was partly pride, and my fear of being like them. I speak in general terms, because I don't feel particularly inclined to share the intimate details at the moment.

I was brazen- didn't blink once
nor did I blush
at the sight of that which
I ought to deplore
I said I loved You- but if I did
truly- I would have averted my eyes
from the curious, profane sight
My eyes betrayed my heart's intent
and I stepped away from Your light
Passively, I watched without pondering
the merit of action and subversive will
I acquiesced to the lower existence
of this sinful heart

I look up and there You are
no need to search for You
I can feel You permeating
every bit of my being
Your grace and love
From the mire of my heart,
I repent and am forgiven

A new day, a new beginning


...

Alternately, I feel very loved. 'Tis a wonderful feeling.

-Arri

funniest conversation in days.. or so I thought

funniest conversation in days:

Scene: I'm at work, sitting at the desk-

random guy comes up, "Hi"
[cue weird look] "hello"
random guy: do you go to school here?
me: yes.
random guy: where are you from?
me: ummmm...
random guy: where do you live?
me: uhhhh... off- campus
random guy: do you have a boyfriend?
me: That's a personal question
random guy: you're cute, I like you.
me: uhhh... I'm not interested.
random guy: oh.



5 minutes later he walks by:
random guy: "I know you're on the internet."
me: oookay...
random guy: I'm just kidding!


...

not so funny anymore, eh? Creepy... moral of the story: never smile at a stranger0 even if you are paid to!